A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel after a large chess tournament. Rather than going straight to their
rooms, the group stayed together in the lobby discussing the day’s events and recent victories.
After an hour, the manager of the hotel entered the lobby and asked them to disperse.
“But why?” they asked.
The manager answered. “Because I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What do you call a four member rock group?
Mount Rushmore.
Can Febuary march?
No, but april may.
Why can't you have a nose that is twelve inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
when does a bed grow longer?
At night, because two feet are added to it.
"Dad, how do I look?"
"With your eyes."
Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.
Who is the strongest thief?
A shoplifter.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away the chairs.
Why did the man throw the clock out the window?
Because he heard time flies.
What do you call a boomerang that dosen't come back?
A stick.
What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
A Chopin Liszt.
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
He Neverlands.